


Woke Up in London yesterday

by Cassidy_Doris



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bromance, F/M, London, M/M, Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassidy_Doris/pseuds/Cassidy_Doris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek just needed to leave, but it didn't mean he wasn't going to miss his pack. He still needed pack. And there was only one other place besides Beacon Hills he could find that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woke Up in London yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> It started with an Instagram post: http://instagram.com/p/icYjS_DTDt/  
> and I was thinking, Colton and Tyler in London has my BrOTP of Jackson & Derek written all over it.  
> Then this picture happened too: http://instagram.com/p/ifMWxGDTDj/  
> . . .assholes 
> 
> It was actually suppose to be this cute, fun, happy bromance fic. I was literally going to have the briefest mention of Sterek in here, but of course, that is not how things turned out. And instead, it's this super sad, but gets happy and still bromancey fic? I don't know, but I hope you like this.
> 
> Title, lyrics from Good Life by OneRepublic 
> 
> It's takes place right after 3A ends obviously, with Derek leaving. This is where he ends up.

Derek just needed to leave. He stares around the loft and his heart clenches a bit at the smells that hit his nostrils for the final time. The smells of pack. Scott, Cora, Isaac, _Boyd_ , Stiles and even Peter. Except for Cora, he’ll soon forget all those smells, hopefully, it’d be easier that way. For all of them. For _him_.

“You’re sure about this?” Cora asks quietly beside him. Derek knows she can smell it too, she’s just not as strongly connected to it. There’s only one smell Cora could possibly be connected to in this room and Derek had personally seen to his death. Derek grabs the door handle and slides the door shut with a final and firm metal clang. The door clicks and locks and Derek can’t get back in now even if he wanted to. He already gave back the keys and paid to get out of the lease much earlier than planned. He looks at Cora and nods, doesn’t speak, doesn’t think he can, for fear of crying or taking back everything and asking her to stay. He needs to leave. He _wants_ to leave. And so they do.

            “Where to?” She asks now, climbing into Derek’s hideous new car, that he had bought for pack reasons and supposes he could trade back for his Camaro. In fact, he’s so sure he wants to do that now, but what then? Derek turns to look at her and an idea hits him, because he’s leaving his pack for a good reason, but it doesn’t mean he won’t miss them. Werewolves need pack, need their scents, need their touch in order to feel safe and in control. So, there’s only one place he can go without staying in Beacon Hills, to find pack.

            “Ever been to London?” Derek asks her and Cora’s face lights up with the possibilities.

            “Always knew you could be fun, big bro.” Cora says to him and Derek rolls his eyes as he turns the engine over. He turns around to back out and he looks at his apartment one more time. His heart seizes in place as he looks up to the top floor window to his loft and he swears someones standing there. He feels like he can see the moles from here, his red hoodie standing out against the blackness of the apartment, his brown eyes boring into Derek’s soul, his unruly hair sticking up in all directions. But when Cora shakes him and asks if everything's all right, the image vanishes and Derek stares at the steering wheel, trying to calm down. His claws have extended and Cora’s asking about a threat nearby because his fangs are out and his blue eyes are shining too. Derek squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

            “Everythings fine,” He whispers to her, “We’re doing the right thing.”

            Cora lets go of his arm then and nods. She doesn’t speak, which is so unusual, she just nods, like she understands. As they past the sign:

            _You’re now leaving Beacon Hills_

_Please, come visit us again soon!_

            Derek’s phone goes off and Cora leans down to look at it. She doesn’t read it out loud, or even say who it’s from. Derek already knows. They don’t speak about it, they don’t speak at all. Cora just laces her fingers through Derek’s free hand and leans her head against his shoulder. Derek’s heart calms with the touch and he knows Cora’s doing it on purpose, to help. He smiles at the horizon ahead of him and pushes the gas a little harder.

            He has to leave it all behind. It’s for the greater good.

***

            **You left. Derek, why did you leave? You didn’t even say goodbye.**

            Derek’s heart feels like it’s going to explode. He can feel his wolf howling at the thought of him being in pain. His wolf is urging him to turn around and head back out into the parking lot and go back. Back to Beacon Hills, back to him. But Derek refuses. His bags are already checked in and making their way to the plane. He’s been through security and Cora’s up ahead waiting in line at Starbucks to get them coffee. And looking at her is all the resolute Derek’s needs to know that he’s not going anywhere. He’s not leaving his family again.

            They’re boarding number is called right as Cora walks up to him with his coffee, black with two sugars. It’s in no way the kind of coffee taste he has acquired being around anyone, let alone a hyper-active kid, with stupid hair that sticks out everywhere, or a tongue that darts out and dips into the coffee to test how hot it is, or the moles Derek himself would like to lick. He wolf starts to howl again, soft and sad this time and Derek just can’t shake him, but he will.

            They board the plane and Derek sticks his headphones into his ears and promptly falls asleep. He doesn’t want to watch California disappear underneath him, he doesn’t want to think about how far away he’s leaving him. He’ll just forget about it all and wake up in London just fine.

***

Derek rolls his eyes as he’s making his way down the escalator, because of course the first thing he smells is overly priced cologne masking the scent of his wolf.

“Derek fucking Hale.” Derek is certainly not expecting that kind of greeting, or a big smile to boot. Derek looks at him up and down and quirks an eyebrow in response.

“Jackson fucking Whittemore.” Derek responds, because he’s really not sure how this works, but Jackson decides for him as he brings him into a hug the second he steps off the stairs. Derek drops his back to bring him in closer and they’re both standing there, getting aw’s and looks of happiness from people, like this is some kind of - _oh_. Derek pulls back, feeling as if, as if, he’s cheated? That’s absurd. He needs to stop all of these trains of thought immediately. Jackson’s laughing as he steps back from Derek, as if he knows exactly what he’s thinking and then he turns to Cora and quirks an eyebrow.

“Don’t even think about it.” Derek interjects and Jacksons laughing again and picking up Derek’s bag and slapping him on the shoulder like they’re old friends. And what? “Jackson are you feeling alright?”

“Yes, Alpha, I’m quite alright.” Jackson shakes his head.

“I’m not an Alpha anymore.” Derek looks to the ground and Jackson takes his hand off of his shoulder, when Derek looks back up, Jackson is looking at him oddly.

“You’re always going to be mine.” Is all Jackson says before he walks out of the airport doors, but not before he throws Derek a pair of keys. “Thought you might want to drive.”

Derek walks out and breaks into a wide grin. He’s never seen a more beautiful sight, well maybe one other beautiful sight, but this is definitely second best. A beautiful black Camaro stares back at him waiting. Derek looks over at Jackson who’s helping Cora with their bags and stares at him perplexed. London has changed Jackson, Derek’s hoping it’ll do the same for him.

***

            **Where are you dude? Why’d you leave? What if I can’t do this on my own?**

            Derek keeps getting texts from back home, from Beacon Hills, Derek corrects in his mind. He never answers. Isaac texted a few days ago just wanting to make sure he’s okay where he is and Derek feels sort of like a dick for leaving that one hanging. Scott keeps texting him about questions on what to do with his Alpha status, even Lydia has texted, but just to tell him he’s an asshole. Derek shrugged at that because of course he was, that was nothing new. But all of the texts, mostly all of them are from him and Derek just can’t bring himself to answer, so he resolves to not answer any of them because it’d be to easy to start talking to them on a routine basis, and then he’d start to miss them and then they’d convince him to come home, to go back to Beacon Hills. He clicks his iPhone lock button and ignores the text, again. He looks up and sees Jackson giving him an odd look before rolling his eyes and looking back to the mirror and fixing his tie.

            “You can’t ignore them forever.” Jackson says suddenly and Derek startles.

            “I don’t remember hearing from you ever, maybe I could say the same to you.” Derek shoots back and Jackson throws up his hands in surrender and nods.

            “Touche.” Jackson replies. “But I thought my reasons were good.”

            “So are mine.” Derek says, getting up from the bed and ruffling through his bag, there isn’t a single good looking thing in here.

            “Give me one of them.” Jackson says and Derek looks up momentarily confused before it clicks into place and he’s shaking his head.

            “Could we drop it? And could you help me find something to wear since you’re the one forcing me to go out.” Derek huffs and pouts a little, which he isn’t proud of at all but Jackson comes over to him anyway laughing under his breath.

            “Still the same old sourwolf you ever were.” Jackson says and Derek pushes him a little too roughly at the name.

            “Don’t call me that. Ever.” Derek growls and Jackson’s heart rate accelerates and Derek stumbles backwards with his hands in the air. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”

            “It’s okay dude, at least now I know.” Jackson says somberly. He nods as if he gets it and Derek doesn’t understand in the slightest.

            “Now you know what?” Derek asks and Jackson looks at him with small, sad eyes.

            “One of your reasons.” Jackson says simply, he walks to the closest and pulls out a dress shirt and tosses it at Derek. “It’s why I left too. That should fit you, hurry up, don’t wanna be late.”

            Derek sits down on the bed, clutching the shirt in his hand while his heart pounds in his chest. It hurts to be away, he misses everything and it suddenly makes sense, all of the Jackson business. Jackson understands him, gets him and that’s why they’re suddenly best friends. They both ran and they understand that, they ran for the greater good of the people they loved, because it’ll be easier, safer for them. Derek brings the shirt to him and takes in a deep breath, catching the scent and calming down and then he gets up and nods to himself and promises himself right then and there to let go of everything. The way Jackson has and seems so much happier for it. To let go of Beacon Hills and his pack and _Stiles_ , his heart clenches at the name. Being an Omega won’t be so bad, Jackson is doing just fine on his own, so it seems, Jackson hasn’t mentioned anyone coming after him, packs or hunters alike, he can do it. And just like that, he knows it has been done.

***

            A flash hits his eyes and he’s making a stupid face and he knows he’s done an eyebrow thing that used to drive _Sti-_ , used to drive people crazy and Jackson is suddenly tapping away on his phone.

            The place is crowded and loud and there are a few of Jackson's friends behind them trying to hit on Cora and it’s taking everything in Derek not to grab them by the necks and toss them across the room, but Derek has to remind himself that Cora’s an adult now, so much of her life he missed out on and she can easily take care of herself. So, he turns back to Jackson who’s holding out another shot glass for Derek. Derek takes it while Jackson uncaps his flask and tops of the shot with wolfsbane.

Ten shots of wolfsbane and vodka, more wolfsbane then the vodka really and three bottles of Pappy Van Winkle later, which Derek isn’t even sure where it even came from or who paid for it, and Derek’s wolf has finally settled for the night in a happy, drunken stupor. You can get Derek to agree to about almost anything right now. Like, taking a photo with you for instance, which never in his 25 years of life has he granted anyone the permission to do, except for his mother, who just wanted a few family photos to have. Not like those exist anymore anyway, so there isn’t any photo evidence anywhere that Derek even exists either, except for this one now apparently. Which Derek doesn’t even know what Jackson is going to do with, Derek almost begins to ask before someone walks up to him wanting to dance and he looks at the man up and down. Tall, lean, wearing skin tight jeans and a striped shirt, the V neck plummeting just a bit to show some pretty attractive chest hair and Derek doesn’t seem to remember what he was about ask. All he knows is he agrees and he’s out on the dance floor, dancing with a man he didn’t get the name of and forgetting who he even is all together. He vaguely remembers Jackson trying to grab his arm and telling him to be careful before he blacks out completely.

            He wakes up groaning and fully going to kill Jackson when his phone begins vibrating violently against his ear. He hisses at the sound and wants to throw it against the wall. He looks to see 3 missed calls from Stiles and he sits up abruptly in a state of panic. Did something happen? He’s about to hit the call back button when he sees he has a few texts as well.

            **Nice to know you exist asshole. London? Really?**

            Derek’s heart stutters, how did he know where Derek was? Derek squeezes his eyes shut, willing his head to stop pounding and his wolf to stop growling at him for being an idiot.

            “I know!” Derek agrees and shouts out loud to, well, nothing. Derek can’t actually ever remember getting drunk before and he’s definitely going to kill Jackson whenever he can stomach the idea of standing without puking first.

            Derek is trying desperately to remember what happened last night. There was drinking he knows that, so much drinking. Jackson was laughing, which was weird in itself, there were people Derek met, Jacksons friends and they seemed to like him. Cora was being hit on, by so many people, and she was reveling in it, getting free drinks left and right. Derek shakes his head at that, he couldn’t really be mad, that was just clever and he had to admit he was a little proud. And then, oh then there was a flash and another shot and a man. A very attractive man had danced with Derek and was whispering sweet nothings in his ear about being the hottest one in the club and wanting to take Derek home and, _oh, oh, oh_. Where was Derek even right now? He looks around and instantly know’s he isn’t at Jacksons. He looks over at the space beside him and a man is sprawled out next to him. Derek can’t breathe.Oh, he was stupid, he was so, so stupid. The man stirs and looks up at him and smiles.

            “Who were you talking to earlier?” The man asks and Derek is confused for a moment, before he remembers his temporary outburst a few seconds ago and he's going pink with embarrassment.

            “What? Oh, no one, nothing, it wasn’t important.” Derek shrugs and starts to make his way off the bed, trying desperately to locate his clothes. He will have Jackson’s head for ever taking him out in the first place, but then again, Derek guesses it really wasn’t his fault he went home with someone else. He does distinctly remember a hand grabbing him and telling him to be careful before he left. He groans and the man looks at him confused.

            “Do you want to stay for breakfast? You don’t have to leave so soon.” Derek can hear that the man is being sincere, which makes everything worse for Derek because he can tell this man was possibly, actually interested in Derek for more than a one night stand but Derek is hating himself so much right now.

            “Listen, -” Derek stops, he doesn’t even know the guys name.

            “Patrick.” The man supplies for him and goes a bit pink at having to help Derek along and Derek hates himself even more now.

            “Patrick.” Derek repeats, “I really don’t want to be a dick, and I’m not, I swear but I think I just got a bit too drunk last night and I don’t even know what happened. I’m sure it was fun? But I’m not looking for anything right now.”

            “Oh.” Is all Patrick can say and Derek is finding his clothes slowly and throwing them on haphazardly. “Nothing happened.”

            Derek stills and looks up at the man. “What?”

            “I wasn’t about to take advantage of you being drunk when I wasn’t nearly as gone. When I had talked about taking you home, you wanted to and _asked_ me to. So, I figured, maybe today, I could’ve taken you out. Ya know, to see the sights and get coffee or something.” Patrick supplied all the best kind of information to Derek just then and he could’ve kissed the man if that wouldn’t have been the worst possible decision ever.

            “Oh. I’m sorry.” Derek said, because he truly was, he would never want to lead anyone on. “I’m really sorry.”

            “It’s fine, really, they must really mean something to you.” Patrick says softly and Derek tilts his head to the side.

            “The person you love. You kept saying it over and over last night actually. How much you loved him.” Patrick shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but it was, it actually was.

            “Oh, well, I’m a huge dick.” Derek says and Patrick laughs and it’s actually quite a sweet, beautiful sound.

            “Don’t think that. You aren’t. It’s sweet. I wish someone loved me like that, but look, I don’t know what happened to make you wind up here.” Patrick indicates to his apartment and himself, “but talk to him. If he doesn’t know you love him I think he’ll want to.”

            And Derek was utterly confused as to what the hell was in this London water, because Jackson was odd and nice and kind of becoming Derek’s best friend. Then there’s this complete stranger who Derek had definitely led on, and tried to hook up with but failed miserably and instead ended up confessing his undying love to a man who wasn’t him and he was completely fine with it. There was something wrong with London, too many people were happy here. Derek had never seen so many happy people in his whole life.

            “I should probably,” Derek starts towards the door and Patrick just nods.

            “Was he the man in the picture? From last night?” Derek just stares, “The picture of you and a man on his instagram, what was his name? Jackson? Yeah. Is it him?”

            What the hell was an Instagram? Derek thought and a picture? Suddenly that bright flash he remembers makes sense, and Stiles text. Oh, Jackson was so dead.

            “No, it’s not him. Just an old friend I’m visiting.” Derek answers.

            “Oh, okay, well, I put my phone number in your phone last night, if you ever want that coffee or to just talk.” Patrick shrugs and Derek nods at him and smiles weakly. When he’s out the door he quickly goes through his contacts and hits send.

            “Jackson, I’m going to kill you.” Derek growls and all he hears is laughter.

            Derek changes Jackson’s ringtone in revenge and doubles over in laughter the next time it goes off and starts playing _Werewolves in London_.

***

            Derek wakes up to someone shaking him.

            “Come on, Cora went shopping, she told me not to let you sleep in or wallow in your misery. Her words.”

            “Go away, Jackson. It’ll be our little secret.” Derek shoves at Jacksons body but Jackson doesn’t budge. Derek supposes it really wasn’t all that hard of a shove anyway, he’s being violently woken up, no one can expect him to be on his werewolf game so early.

            “She’ll kill me. She’ll kill you.” Jackson says and Derek opens one eye to stare at him.

            “Are you, are you _afraid_ of my little sister?” Derek starts to laugh and gets punched in the arm for his efforts of trying to wake up.

            “Shut up, douchewolf, hell yes I am. She’s terrifying when she’s angry.” Jackson argues and Derek can’t really blame him. He pouts and rolls over and sits up in his bed.

            “Douchewolf, ha, funny, you’re one to talk.” Jackson rolls his eyes and throws Derek’s duffle bag at his head.

            “Get dressed, we’re going to breakfast and we’re going to talk.” Jackson says and Derek groans.

            “Why?” And yes, Derek just whined and Jackson quirks an eyebrow at him.

            “Because you need to. You need to _do_ something about this.” Jackson tosses him a black rectangular object that doesn’t look anything like his. This must be the culprit that has his picture caught inside and was used to broadcast onto the internet. Derek looks at it and sees Jackson has a few missed calls and a few dozen texts. All from either Stiles or Lydia. Derek looks at him confused.

            “I haven’t talked to Lydia in months, _months_ and she’s calling and texting me because of you.” Jackson is starring as his phone longingly and Derek doesn’t miss the way his heart is beating, stopping every few seconds as if it’s in pain. Derek goes uneasy at the feeling.

            “You’re the one that put up that stupid photo!” Derek says in defense and Jackson sits down next to him, thigh touching thigh and Derek understands.

            “I miss her, Derek. Everyday. I missed all of you, even Stiles, which was the weirdest fucking feeling for me. I’m a douchebag, it’s in my nature to never care and suddenly I was here and I cared too much about everything. I wanted to go home.” Jackson admits and Derek just stares at their legs touching.

            “Why didn’t you?” Derek asks.

            “My parents wanted me here, thought it was better for me here and I thought so too. You didn’t need me, no one ever did. I was an asshole most of the time.” Jackson shrugs.

            “No, you weren’t.” Derek disagrees and Jacksons head shoots up and their eyes lock on each other. “Jackson, I was with you every day for a month, remember?”

            Jackson nods in remembrance.

            “You were determined, you were polite, you were anything but an asshole. Something changed in you that day. You aren’t the same person you were Jackson. You have to believe that. We would’ve welcomed you home, wanted you home, our land and our pack were being threatened. We sure as hell wanted you home.” Derek knows he never has to mention _that_ day for Jackson to know exactly what he’s talking about and he knows deep down that Jackson agrees with everything Derek just said but he can’t make himself see it or believe it. They’re too much alike.

            “I was on three different flights in the matter of a day trying to get home, but I’d get to the layover and change my mind and hop back on one to London and then change my mind. I didn’t know what to do. I _hated_ everything that I was hearing, but I couldn’t get the balls to show up after months of radio silence.” Jackson sounds like he’s about to sob and Derek doesn’t know what else to do but wrap his arm around Jacksons shoulder and nod.

            “I left because I nearly got everyone killed, and, well, I killed Boyd and I don’t even know how Cora can stand to look at me. I got three of our packmates parents kidnapped and couldn’t do a damn thing about it, making them sacrifice themselves. And Cora? Well, yeah I could’ve lost my only family.” Derek left out Stiles completely. He couldn’t even begin to know where to start with Stiles.

            “You have Peter.” Jackson started to laugh and soon Derek was laughing and they were clutching at their sides in pain.

            “You’re such an ass.” Derek says pushing Jackson away. Jackson stands up and gestures towards his watch.

            “Breakfast time. Come on.” Derek groans.

            “We had a talk, do we really have to get breakfast?” Derek pleads and Jackson just shakes his head.

            “Cora-”

            “Will never know. You’re not technically lying to her. We _did_ talk. We just also didn’t leave the apartment and that’s fine with me. Please, Jackson, one day, let me wallow.” Derek tries to give his best Scott McCall puppy eyes and he doesn’t know if he can pull it off as easily but Jackson rolls his eyes and it seems to have worked.

            “Fine, _one_ day Hale, then we’re gonna make some changes. You’re gonna be happy.” Jackson throws his hands up in the air in defeat and Derek laughs in triumphant and Jackson leaves the room. Derek plops back on the bed, hoping to fall asleep but kind of knows after a long discussion like that, sleep just might be futile. Derek rolls over and thinks about what Jackson said.

            _You’re gonna be happy_.

            “Only one thing can make me happy.” Derek whispers into the silent room, his wolf howls a bit at the sudden statement. Derek’s unaware as to if Jackson is listening in or not and finds that he doesn’t care. After many tosses and turns and hours passing, somehow sleep finds him.

***

            **I’ll stop texting you now. It is obviously pointless, you don’t care. Fine, I don’t care either.**

            True to his word, that’s the last text Derek gets from Stiles. Derek often catches himself staring at it. Most days he thinks, good, don’t care Stiles, you shouldn’t care. And other days he’s angry and wants to call him and tell him everything and all the reasons as to why he left but he can’t and so he doesn’t. It’s been a few months since they left. Summer vacation has begun for all of them most likely.

            He’s staring at his phone again, in a coffee shop by himself, far away in a corner when he is interrupted by a reflection in his phone and his heart stops dead.

            “Stiles?” His head whips up, only to find, no, it’s not Stiles, but Patrick. And, huh, come to find out, not in a club or freaking out the morning after Patrick looks a lot like Stiles.

            His hair is a bit more styled, but his throat is long and exposed, freckles peppering his face and he’s tall and lanky and sports really tight jeans that do wonders for him and wears converse and hoodies. That’s probably why Derek was so attracted to him, _huh_ , that explains a lot. Patrick is beaming and gestures towards the seat in front of him, Derek nods and Patrick sits and smiles brightly at him.

            “You’ve been staring at that thing for the past ten minutes while I’ve been waiting in line.” Patrick says and Derek seems a bit creeped out by the admission that Patrick has been watching him for the past ten minutes. “Are you talking to him?”

            “Who?” Derek asks.

            “Well, Stiles, apparently.” Derek’s ears burn hot at the name, to be honest, that’s the most Stiles’ name has been said in the past few months and his heart aches for him.

            “Oh, no.” Derek shakes his head and looks down at the coffee in between his hands. He looks through his phone again hoping it’ll hint to Patrick he’d rather be alone but Patrick stays put sipping on his coffee, which smells alarmingly and grossly sweet to Derek. Derek flicks through his phone and reads a few texts from months back.

            He reads the one about Instagram and damn it, Jackson still hadn’t taken that photo down and another like reads: **Scott says he can’t feel you anymore. What did you do?** Another one that came in shortly after that says: **Deaton says it’s because you separated yourself from the pack, either that or you’re dead. What the fuck, Derek?** And then another: **At least we know you’re not dead, which kind of sucks because I could forgive you if you were dead.**

            Derek’s heart hurt with that last one. He puts his phone down and finishes his coffee. He looks up at Patrick who’s still sitting there and smiling.

            “What do I do?” Derek asks pathetically to a man he doesn’t even know. Patrick laughs and sits a little bit closer to Derek as if he’s about to share the secrets to the entire universe.

            “First, you talk to him.” Patrick says and for Derek, that really was.

***

            Derek stares at his bright computer screen. He looks at the time 3am, which means it’s 7pm back in California and he knows Stiles will be on the computer. Maybe, hopefully. He logs onto Skype for the first time in months and looks for Stiles name.

            _theboywhorunswithwolves_ is offline. Derek’s heart plummets.

            He tries for days after. Cora comes in and says she talked to him just the other day, but that he often goes on as invisible. Derek’s heart hurts even more. Meaning that Stiles surely was online and saw that Derek was too and just didn’t want to talk to him.

            Derek had royally fucked this up.

            “Better call the Queen.” Cora says to him when Derek realized he had said that last part out loud. Derek chucks a pillow at her as she leaves.

            Derek goes to his email instead and clicks on [stiles.stilinski@gmail.com](mailto:stiles.stilinski@gmail.com) and starts to write.

_Stiles,_

_I left and I’m sorry. I thought what I was doing was right. I’m a royal fuck up Stiles. Everyone knows this. Scott is a much better Alpha than I ever could have been. I killed people, nearly got them killed, I brought that Alpha pack to us. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? Stiles, I let the pack down. I let you down and I couldn’t do that again. Stiles,_

 

Derek stops, fingers twitching over the keys. God, what was he going to say? There was nothing he could do to make this right. Jackson walks in then, looking alarmed. He looks over to Derek and walks around to the free space on Derek’s bed and sits down. Derek pushes the computer out a bit so Jackson can read and when Jackson is finished he stares at Derek and closes his laptop shut without a word.

“Take a break.” Jackson says quietly. “Let’s go get coffee, talk.”

And for once, Derek really doesn’t mind that idea at all.

 

***

            “I’ve been acting weird.” Jackson says randomly, as they sit down with their coffees in hand in the usual corner and coffee shop Derek usually comes to alone.

Jackson showed it to him a few weeks after Derek and Cora got here and Jackson had to head back to work and school and normal things kids do. They have books here you can read for free as long as you give a book in return, you can take whatever book you want and leave with it. Derek thought that was the best thing in the world. He couldn’t remember the last time he read for fun and in the matter of months he had read most of the books in here. He actually had gone off to a nearby bookstore and bought the most random and obscure books he could find to fill up the shelves at the shop so he could read more. He comes here so often the manager asked if he’d like a job there because he has taste tested and given his improvements and opinions on nearly every coffee they offered. Derek laughed and politely refused. Derek shakes his head and looks back at Jackson and scoffs.

“You can say that again.” Derek laughs.

“I’ve been acting weird.” Jackson says and they both laugh.

“When did you get a sense of humor?” Derek asks.

“When did you feel like opening up to everyone back home?” Jackson shoots back and Derek shrugs and stirs his coffee.

“I’ve been acting weird because I didn’t realize until you got here how much I miss you.” Jackson says quietly and Derek looks back up at him in surprise.

“It’s been easy here, to forget you all and be okay, but I’m not okay Derek. I hate it here alone. I hate being without a pack. And when I caught your scent in the airport, a sense of calm rushed over me and I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. A breath I’ve been holding in for months. I’m always on edge here, always scared being the omega, alone in London without a pack. I’ve _missed_ you.” Jackson pauses, wanting that to sink in and it does for Derek it really does. Derek knows Jackson, not well, but well enough to know that Jackson never misses people and he certainly doesn’t tell them he loves him. Derek’s pretty sure Jackson just did both. Derek nods and stares at the random book Jackson grabbed on their way to the table. _The Catcher in the Rye._ Derek smiles.

“This is Stiles favorite book. He keeps it by his bed stand just because.” Derek starts off saying. Jackson takes a sip of his coffee and smiles. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.”

“No shit Sherlock.” Jackson sets down his coffee and starts to slow clap and a few heads turn in their direction and Derek swats at Jacksons hands to make him stop.

“I’m obvious.” Derek says flatly. Jackson keeps clapping.

“What’s obvious is that he’s your mate.” Derek stops dead at that and looks at Jackson like he’s crazy, Jackson is giving him the same look back. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Hale.”

“Shut up, Jackson.” Derek nearly whines. Mate. _Mate_. Derek honestly doesn’t know how he’s a werewolf, his instincts fucking suck. “Mate.”

“Yup, mate, dude. You haven’t heard your wolf crying at all? Seriously?” Jackson asks sincerely, he isn’t trying to be a dick this time and Derek knows it. Derek just shrugs, because of course he has, he’s just ignored it. “Dude, doesn’t that fucking hurt?”

“What does?” Derek asks.

“Ignoring it.” Jackson begins and Derek is creeped out by how well Jackson gets him. “I mean, I can only assume it fucking hurts. I hear mine all the time and acknowledge it’s pain and it still hurts.”

Derek grows sad at that thought. Jackson being in pain. Anyone he cares about being in pain and his mind drifts off to Stiles. How much pain was he in? Derek listens this time, to his wolf whimpering and it’s a piercing bullet to his gut and he wants to cry very suddenly. He stands up abruptly and walks out of the coffee shops. Jackson is close behind.

“Derek, dude, it’s okay.” Jackson is trying to grab ahold of his arm and make him slow down but Derek won’t have it. It’s not okay and he says as much. “Then _do_ something.”

“I was, I was emailing him until you told me to come out here and talk about my feelings. Well, congrats dick, I have and now it’s made everything worse.” Derek whips around and flashes his blues eyes out of frustration. Jackson doesn’t back down, their chests are touching and his are flashing blue too, but in defense.

“Stop and breathe Derek. Jesus. I’m not a dick, well, correction, I’m 100% a dick and a big one at that, literally and metaphorically, but this is fixable Derek. I stopped you from writing that email because it wasn’t the email that needed to be sent. _This._ ” Jackson points to his chest and then at the coffee shop, “everything that has just been said, is what really needs to be in that email. Come on, Derek. Stop overthinking this, stop ignoring this.”

Derek and Jackson stand their breathing heavily and looking ready for combat when Cora walks up next to them rolling her eyes.

“Oh for the love of God, Derek. You’re causing a scene. Listen to the dick. He’s right.” Cora exclaims exasperatedly.

“She said I was right and called me a dick, with _love_. She likes me, she really likes me.” Jacksons says and gets a swap upside of the head for his joke, but it eases the tension because they’re all laughing.

“I called you a dick and in no way was there any love behind it at all.” Cora says turning her back and walking away, expecting them to follow, which, of course, they do.

“I heard a bit of love, didn’t you Derek?” Jackson looks over at him and smiles softly and nods in an apology. Derek nods back.

“Ya know, I really did hear it too, I heard so much love.” Derek says to Cora’s back and he can feel her eye roll and he starts to laugh.

“Men.” He hears her mutter and Jackson and Derek join in a playful banter with her the whole way back to the loft.

When they get back, Derek has figured out exactly what he’s going to email Stiles and Jackson claps his back and nods to Derek like he knows too. Derek walks into the guest room he’s been staying in and stares at the computer in the middle of his bed, he takes a deep breath and sits down and opens it back up to the email he had been working on this morning.

He highlights the entire text and deletes it.

_Stiles,_

_I left because I feel in love with you and I was scared._

_I’m sorry. I miss you everyday._

_Derek_

 

Derek hits send before he can rethink this awful decision and throws his computer across his bed and plops back down onto his pillow. His heart is beating rapidly and he’s trying to take deep calming breaths, somehow between all of that, he lulls himself to sleep.

***

            “Stop rock blocking me bro!” Derek hears Jackson yelling from behind him. Derek has a camera to his eye and he’s snapping a shot and then turning around laughing only to see Jackson with his back turned to him and pointing in Dereks direction. Cora’s laughing like a maniac and snapping a photo off of Jacksons iPhone. Derek groans.

            “Again with the pictures?” Derek asks. Cora and Jackson both roll their eyes and Derek decides he thoroughly doesn’t like the idea of them becoming friends. It’s a terrifying combo and thought. “Um, excuse me, what’s happening here?”

            Cora and Jackson stare at each other and then at Derek in confusion.

            “Don’t be stealing my best friend Cora.” Derek jokes and Jacksons faces melts and looks grossly like a puppy and Derek sticks his tongue out and scrunches up his face. “Stop with the look.”

            “You called me your best friend.” Jackson brings his hand to his heart and Cora lets out a giggle.

            “Ugh, my pack is the worst.” Derek groans.

            “He called us his pack.” Cora and Jackson both have their hands on their hearts this time and they speak in a creepy unison.

            “I hate the pair of you with a passion.” Derek laughs. His phone sends off a soft ding and his heart flutters and drops a bit but he does his best to ignore it.

            “Have you heard from him?” Jackson asks. Derek shrugs.

            “I, kind of, haven’t checked.” Derek admits. Cora and Jackson both groan behind him.

            “It’s been two weeks since the email Derek! He’s probably responded!” Cora yells at him. Derek tries to ignore her and go back to the view. Sometimes he forgets where he is. He shouldn’t have been wasting these past few months wallowing in self-pity like he had. He was determined to change that. Which is why he woke the house at five in the morning and telling them they were all going on a field trip, last stop, Stonehenge, which is where they stand, watching the sunset.

            “You’re actually an idiot.” Jackson agrees and Derek turns around and scoffs at him.

            “Some best friend.” Derek snaps.

            “Come on man, you know I got your back, but why are you refusing to admit that this could probably all work out for the better?” Jackson asks and Derek knows the exact answer, he told Stiles so in the email. He’s scared, terrified for things to turn out for the better, for Stiles to love him too. It’s not possible, not for Derek.

            “Villains don’t get happy endings.” Derek admits.

            “Well, we know what Derek has been doing on Netflix and Hulu lately.” Cora says, crossing her arms and glaring at Derek. “You can’t possibly think that shits true? First of all, Der, _Once Upon a Time_ , is a TV show. And second, how dare you, how dare you think of yourself as a villain.”

            “I’ve killed people Cora. I killed Boyd.” Derek shouts and he glances around crazily realizing their very much out in public. It somehow seems no one is near enough for them to hear and they all also don’t seem to care about the three of them. Cora steps up to him then and places her hands on his shoulders.

            “Ya gotta let it go, big brother. You can’t keep holding on to all this shit. You have killed people, we all have, we’re not saints. But, Boyd isn’t on you. _Paige_ isn’t on you. _Our family_ isn’t on you. I’m still here. Scott’s still here, Isaac, Allison, Lydia, Jackson, Stiles. We’re still here Derek, _because_ of you. So, please, let it go, bro.” Cora’s voice starts to thicken and Derek can feel the wave of sadness on her like a tsunami, he wraps his arms around her waist and brings her in and hold her close. He lets out a quiet sob and feels completely awkward doing this here and now of all places.

            Jackson slowly walks over to them and Cora puts out an arm gesturing for his entrance and they is watery laughter coming from her and Derek as Jackson slams into them. They stand like that for a few more minutes before Derek hears a quiet voice.

            “Let it go.” Jackson whispers and Derek nods. It turns out it wasn’t the pack he needed to let go all those months ago, he let go of the wrong thing and he’s not sure if he can get it back.

            “Can we go home?” Derek asks quietly and he’s aware of how childlike it sounds. Cora backs up wiping her eyes and nodding.

            “Please.” Cora says and Jackson looks at them beaming.

            “I’ll book the flight, three tickets coming up.” Derek looks at him and beams back.

***

            As it turns out they didn’t need to go home after all. Derek grabs a hold of Jackson’s jacket as Jackson walks closer to his apartment door, pulling out his keys. Jackson stops short and looks around startled as he sniffs the air.

            “You smell that?” Derek asks and Cora stands at his shoulder and he sees her nod as well.

            “It’s, it’s-” Jackson can’t speak and Derek gets it, he really, really does. “Lydia.”

            “Stiles.” Derek’s heart is hammering as he yanks the keys out of Jacksons trembling hands and shoves them into the lock. The door flies open as two bodies shoot up from the couch. One screeches, which makes Derek beam and one just shouts, “for the love of god, about time.” and Jackson bursts out laughing.

            “We, we told the landlord, landlady, that we needed to get in here. That we were relatives that had just popped into town on urgent family business and had no place else to go and that we’d wait for you here. We’re sorry to intrude, we didn’t mean to, we can go.” Stiles is talking a mile a minute and Lydia grabs a hold of his arm to make him stop in his place. He was trying to walk towards the door and she huffs in annoyance.

            “Stiles, shut up. We’re _so_ not leaving. It took us forever to get here, did you know that they cancel flights because of rain? Well they do, about three of them to be exact and it has taken us nearly two extra days, then just the one, to get here. So, no, Stiles, we’re not leaving. Not until these two assholes apologize, for being, well, assholes!” Lydia shrieks and throws her arms up in the air and then folds them across her chest. She huffs out a breath and tabs her heel and looks at them expectantly. No one in the room needs her to talk because they all know that look is saying, _“well?”_

            Jackson laughs and rubs his neck nervously, “Jesus, I’ve missed you Lyds.”

            “No, no, you don’t get to do that Jackson.” Lydia points her finger at him and soft tears begin to fall from her face. Derek looks to the floor, he can’t look at Stiles right now, his heart hurts already from all of Lydia’s heartache. He doesn’t want to reach out and even begin to feel Stiles’ pain. “You don’t get to barge in here and look at me like that. Like, the way you used to and say you’ve missed me, when, up until a few months ago I hadn’t even heard a word from you.”

            Jackson steps a little closer and he nods. His hands are half raised in a slow surrender and when he’s standing right in front of her, he cups her cheek with his hand and her eyes close against the touch.

            “I’ve missed you Lydia.” Jackson says again, “And I’m sorry, so, so sorry.”

            “Well, if you’re _that_ sorry.” Lydia teases and kisses the palm of his hand. Derek suddenly feels like he’s intruding and he rubs the back of his neck self consciously and tries stepping farther back, wanting to disappear. He turns to stare at Cora, pleading with his eyes, trying to ask her what he should do. Except, she’s grinning and shooting her hands up in the air and backing out the door. Derek whimpers as she leaves and when he turns back three pairs of eyes are on him.

            “Well?” This time Lydia says it _and_ gives the face and Derek groans, he really doesn’t want to do this in front of people. His heart is hammering against his chest as he looks to Stiles and _really_ looks at him for the first time in close to a year now. Stiles looks paler than usual, deep dark bags under his eyes like he hasn’t sleep in days, maybe months. He looks like something is haunting him and Derek nearly growls at the threat. His wolf is ready to pounce and protect but Derek shoves him down, telling him that maybe Stiles doesn’t want that. How could he after everything Derek has put him through for the past year?

            “Stiles-” Derek begins before he’s interrupted.

            “What was I supposed to do with that Derek? What the fuck was that email?” Stiles starts and his hands are immediately flailing. Derek tries to suppress a smile. Stiles starts to pace as he continues, “I mean, you ignore me, for _months_ and then out of the blue I get an email. A two sentence email that you left because you loved me. Like what kind of bullshit is that? You didn’t even know how I felt in return! Didn’t even ask! You just left! You left us vulnerable! You left me-” Stiles stops and tears are cascading down his face and Derek nearly drops to his knees from all the sorrow. Jackson shifts uncomfortably next to Lydia, wanting to join his pack and help him. “You left me vulnerable, Derek. I felt, I felt _broken_.”

            Derek stares at the ground and lets out a small sob.

            “Stiles, I-” Derek tries to start again but doesn’t get a chance to speak.

            “I mean, I’m not saying I need a man to complete me or that I’m some kind of person who’s life is dependent on another, but, but, Derek, it felt awful. It felt different. The pain that I went through.” Derek nods in understanding as tears fall down his cheeks. He wants to tell Stiles, or maybe Stiles already knows, Scott must know, about mates. And how, if a wolf mates and the feeling is mutual, they both will feel it. They both will feel their bond. They both will feel their strength, their love or their sorrow and their pain.

            “Stiles, I wish -” Derek begins again, but no and if the situation weren’t so serious Derek might almost have laughed.

            “And another thing, _asshat_ , -” Stiles starts before he’s interrupted by Jackson.

            “Will you let him fucking speak Stiles?” Jackson growls and Lydia slaps his arm. Stiles looks at him startled and then turns back to Derek and crosses his arms expectantly.

            “I’m sorry.” Derek whispers. What else can he possibly say? “I’m so sorry, Stiles. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

            “How? How could you possibly think that?” Stiles asks and Derek looks up at him and stares into his eyes and doesn’t break the hold. He starts walking towards him as he explains.

            “Because Scott is better than me. Your pack is better than me. I have done no one any good by existing. Stiles, I love you, and I thought that I was protecting you. Because I will do anything, _anything_ to protect _you_. Do you get that? Can you possibly understand? I don’t care about my own pain, I will deal with it, if it means you’re safe, it’s worth it.” Derek looks at him and they’re close now, so close. Derek is staring down into his mates beautiful brown eyes and he wants nothing more than to kiss him now but he isn’t going to do anything Stiles doesn’t want.

            “Well, that’s just stupid.” Stiles pouts and grabs hold if Derek’s shirt. “You’re such a martyr Derek, when you don’t have to be. You have to know, that I will do anything, _anything_ , to make sure you’re not in pain. And if you had stayed, Der, if you had just stayed I could’ve told you that I love you too. And I only feel safest when you’re around.” Stiles doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t need to, he just leans up and closes the distance between them. Their lips fit together softly and Stiles is gentle when he parts Derek’s lips to explore further. Derek gribs onto Stiles hips, trying to hold himself upright, the breath is being taken from him and his world is starting to spin. They break their kiss, giggling like children and Derek peppers Stiles’ face with small kisses, he doesn’t want to stop touching him, never wants to let him go. But, suddenly a throat clears and Derek’s whole body tenses. He’s completely forgotten the other people present.

            “If you don’t mind, we really don’t have much time, we have exactly two hours to pack all your shit up and get on our plane home.” Lydia interjects and Derek looks down at Stiles confused.

            “It was Lydia’s idea, she bought two tickets here but five tickets home. She said we weren’t leaving without our pack. Screw what they feel.” Stiles shrugs like it’s no big thing, but it’s a very big thing for Derek. He leans down and kisses Stiles roughly this time and growls into it, causing Stiles to illicit a moan and Derek whips his head back startled. He _definitely_ wanted to explore that further and hear all other kinds of sounds he could get Stiles to make.

            “Gross.” Jackson gags and Derek doesn’t even turn around to look at him just flips him off as he leans in to kiss Stiles’ forehead.

            “Help me pack?” Derek whispers and Derek can hear Stiles heart stop. Derek laughs into Stiles hair.

            “Two hours you said Lydia?” Stiles asks over Derek’s shoulder.

            “For the love god.” Lydia says rolling her eyes and Derek just grabs a hold of Stiles’ hand, lacing his fingers through his and leads him back to his room. They emerge with Derek’s bags haphazardly packed, Stiles hair an unruly mess and hickies peppering both of their necks exactly ten minutes before their flight has been scheduled to leave. So they miss it, Derek thinks, they can probably think of things to do in an airport for a few hours. Just him and Stiles. Derek grins at the thought and hops into the Camaro with his friends in tow, ready to head home.

***

            **WELCOME HOME PACK!**

            Isaac is holding it. A big ass, _sparkled_ sign. Derek doesn’t even hate it. He laughs actually, tears up a bit too. They’re there. They really are there and they’re smiling at him. Isaac is jumping around like a puppy and Derek is pretty sure if he was his wolf, his tail would be wagging like crazy. Isaac is in fact the first one to run into Derek’s arms and Derek has to reluctantly let go of Stiles’ hand, something he promised himself he’d never do again, to hug Isaac back. He supposes for this reason Derek can make an exception to his rule. Scott is next and then, with much surprise to them all Allison is wrapping Derek in a big hug and smacking a kiss on the cheek and a hand upside his head.

            “You ever leave us again, I will use my tracking skills to find you and drag you back home myself.” Allison threatens and Derek has no idea what has changed her mind about him.

            “Almost did too, caught her walking out the door one time with a duffle bag and her bow and arrows thrown over her back. I told her, babe, how are you gonna get that through security” Scott laughs and everyone joins him. Derek looks at Allison softly and she’s looking back, she shrugs after a while.

            “Our families have done shitty things to each other but I suppose that doesn’t have to be us. We’re pack. You belong here Derek. Don’t leave again.” Allison supplies the answer to Derek’s thought and he beams at her.

            “Don’t plan on it.” Allison nods at the response and then turns to Jackson, Lydia and Stiles and pulls them into a hug.

            “Alli, we were only gone four days.” Stiles says, patting her back awkwardly.

            “A girl can still miss her friends.” Allison says, stepping back and wiping tears from her eyes.

            “Uh, not that I don’t hate this, but could we maybe head out of here? People are staring.” Jackson asks and they all look around to all the people who are pointing and whispering. Some are smiling, some look weirded out, but Derek just shrugs.

            “Feel the love Jackson, just feel the love. Fuck what these people think.” Derek says the last part a little too loudly so anyone near them can hear, and a few of them do and jolt in response. They scurry off with their heads down in embarrassment. Derek nods satisfactorily and Stiles lets out a loud laugh. Derek looks down at him and raises and eyebrow.   

“Welcome back, Sourwolf. We’ve missed you.”  Stiles leans up to kiss his cheek but Derek turns his head in time to capture Stiles’ lips instead. He cups Stiles’ face and when they part he brushes his thumb across the man's cheek while resting his forehead against his. “Sneak. That’s cheating.”

“Alls fair in love and war.” Derek mumbles.

“The man has jokes ladies and gentlemen.” Stiles laughs.

“All right love birds, let’s go home.” Scott shouts. Derek’s eyes shoot up to him and gleam. Scott beams back at him. “Yes Derek, home, we’re going home.”

“We’re going home.” Derek repeats. It’s the best phrase he’s ever heard, well, second best. The first comes moments later.

“I love you, Der.” Stiles whispers, when they’ve all packed into the car. Derek rests his head against Stiles shoulder and leans up to kiss Stiles neck, making the man shiver and Derek’s wolf ruffs in delight and Derek swears to never let Stiles know that or he’ll never hear the endless dog jokes he knows Stiles has up his sleeve.

“I love you too, Stiles, so much.” Derek whispers back.

“Mates?” Stiles asks.

“Mates.” Derek confirms.

 

 


End file.
